In the spirit of honesty, even typing the title to this entry makes me feel a little weird. This month, I have started a journey to shift my mindset from “I’m not…” to “I am enough.” This “not enough” mindset has plagued me all the way back from my earliest childhood memories. As someone who was brutally teased growing up, I heard the message of “It is not okay for you to be who you naturally are” at a very early age.

For me, once this message became reality in my brain, I just believed and acted as if it were the truth. This showed up as an internal message of: work as hard as you can, be as nice as you can, and maybe at some point (before you die, hopefully) you will be enough. 

Now, I have decided that I do not want to wait to “be enough” any longer. I am ready to start believing today.  As luck would have it, a series of events have collided and my journey of being enough has begun. I have connected with a group of women who also struggle with this idea of not being enough. Through many conversations and tears, they too are tired of having this burden on their shoulders. 

We have decided that in order to break this old tape (yes, I am older – it’s an 8 track for sure), we need to take drastic measures. Our first step is texting each other every day a with a simple message of: “I am enough, and you are enough.” When I told Sydney (my 15-year-old) that I was going to write this on all of our mirrors, I got the classic teenage eye roll. That’s okay.  She knows she is enough and for that I am incredibly grateful. Additionally, when we are feeling “not enough,” we have committed to reaching out to each other. No more letting the tapes run on autopilot. Also, I have started a meditation program for myself. I am spending at least 10-15 minutes each day meditating and making this time a priority for me. Lastly, I am consciously viewing the people around me through the lens that they too are enough, and I am working on being far more grateful for what I have in my amazing life. That includes the people, my work, and of course my sweet, fluffy dog Oliver.

( He can be found here at the bottom : https://www.leadershipgrowthpartners.com/about )

While I’ve just begun this part of my journey, what I can tell you is that even after 21 days, I already feel different.

Dear readers, I challenge you to think about what old tapes you want to scratch up?  I hope sharing my personal journey encourages you to continue on your own path of self-discovery.

Barbara Leahy